Celebrated 21st belated birthday with family.
Although it wasn't an expensive ones, at least they have the heart for me.
My mum even purposely bring me out just to get me a small cake as she know I wasn't been happy for my 21st birthday.
I know deep down in their heart they wish to see the happy me.

But

Deep down in my heart I really wish that the you I know will be back.
Will be the happy us again.
Will care and concern about me again.
Will put me in the first place again.
I really wish that you are right here with me.
Even physically you are not here, I just hope your heart is with me.
Every birthday cakes with candles I've been wished for the same wishes.
For us and for my family.

=')

-AlwaysWaitingAndMissingYou-

Struggling.
Everything will be better?
When?
Mum say I will be able to go through all these obstacles..

-FeelingDepressed-

Everything is gone.
My dream to be your princess is gone.
Hope your burdens, troubles, and frustration will be lessen after I leave.
There will be a new guardian angel by your side to support you and give you ideas.
Thank you for being with me when I'm sick for the past 2 years.
No matter how hard it is to make me happy you will try your best to make me happy.
I'm always being emo before you came into my life.
You are the one who make me SMILE again. =')

-IHateMySelfForBeingSuchInsecure-

Heartache

Please forgive me if I leave someday..
It's never been that I Don't Love You..
I always love you since the first day I met you in my life..
You attracted me from first sight..
Everything just changed..
I can tell myself to continue wait and to hold on to you..
But my heart couldn't stand the pain of being neglected..
=')

When you're gone, pieces of my heart I'm missing you.
You're just treating me like a joke and make fun of me today. :'(

21st Birthday

It can be the worse birthday in my life or at least in these 21 years.
Without proper wish sharp at 12am, special cake with candles, nor a birthday song.
Although I'm able to make a wish for the last minute, the cake with candles are just from my housemates.
I'm happy that they celebrate with me.
But I will be the happiest girl on earth if the one who celebrated with me was you, the one I love.

-You'llNeverKnowHowHurtItIs-

Have you ever feel that someone is beside you but you can't feel his heart is with you?
Have you ever feel that someone is beside you but you can't feel his heart beating with you?
Have you ever feel that you always know you have him beside you but you are telling yourself prepare to leave anytime as he could leave you any moment from now?
Have you ever feel that he is beside you but you don't dare to hold him tight nor hug him tight?
Have you ever feel that you just want him to be with you but you couldn't do anything about it even how hard you try or how much effort you give in?
Have you ever feel that he is with you but you wan't him to be the one that hold you first, hug you first and talk to you first?
Have you ever feel that you wanna be the only one in his eyes and in his heart?

:')

-KoaLaIsAlwaysLovingYouButYouDon'tKnow-

已经无法用言语表达自己内心的感觉。
或许已经麻木了。
偶尔会问自己为什么还是爱着你。
当初说过要变得洒脱一些的我到底去了哪里。
难道我的一生就是被自己的爱情克着。
就是爱情两个字能让我的生活过得那么难过。
是我变得太在乎，还是你变得不在乎。
为什么在你眼里我的一切就这样消失了。
我们将近三年的感情赢不了这小小的挫折？

不管怎样我还是逃脱不了陷进过深的感情。

I wonder how much longer we can stay like this.
Sorry for not being PERFECT enough for you.
=)
微笑的过日子吧， 苇娴.

When can I end all this unhappiness between us.
When can I have the time of you and me.
When can I really assure that you really love me and will sacrifice everything for me.
When can I just have a simple and happy relationship without fear and insecure.
When can I always be your first one your priority.
When can I just feel safe and go on my life.
When can I get most attention, love and care from you.
Why is it always my effort is not enough to save us.
Why is it always I need to put in so so much effort till I feel collapsing.
Why is it always I who step out for the first step.

我真的累了。
我一直只要求安稳的生活。
只要一个能爱我关心我呵护我保护我的男朋友。
现在的我只希望你的一切会顺利。
我会过着一个像单身的生活。
伤的伤，痛的痛，这些你都不会明白。
你所说过的，是我内心深处的一道伤痕。
再也不会痊愈。