Feeling Uncomfortable..

Yes, I am bad tempered...
I am alwiz bad mood...
I am not an understanding girl...
A girl who alwiz do whatever she likes...
A girl who never have patient in her...
As long as she is not happy she will spit our everything...
Or jz cut & paste it on her face...

Thats the reason I alwiz make everything gone from bad to worst...
And the reason I cant keep a relationship long enough...
Not that I dont appreciate bt is the ppl I love cant stand my attitude...
I'm not doing that purposely...
I jz dont have the patient when I scold by ppl..
And what they scold is against with what I think...
I tried & I can be patient...
Bt jz sometimes will affect my mood abit...

Feeling very bad...
Kenneth alwiz try n try n try to make me laugh...
Sometimes or once a while it jz dont work...
I'm sorry..

I'm sorry I told u I hate this place very much...
This place give me no freedom...
This place make me feel unsafe..
Sometimes make me feel that I'm alone...
Everything ppl spit on my face I must...
Its a must to jz be patient and patient...

Even something happened I dont knw who I can ask for help...
Everytime unhappy thing happened to me...
What I can do is jz talk to few specific friends and my mum...
Thats all I can do...

I am afraid...
I am scared...
I'm alwiz being too dependent on bf when I'm in a relationship...
I scared to fall...
I'm afraid anytime any second ppl I love will leave me...
Jz cuz they cant stand my attitude...
I'm scared that u will leave me suddenly one day...
I hate that feeling...
I hate ppl leave me alone...
I hate to be lonely....

Why cant I change abit...?
Why cant I be more patient and understanding...?
Why cant I keep my temper bit by bit..??
I alwiz ask myself after I did the wrong thing...
After I say sorry...
After I make someone angry...
Why cant I think carefully before I do all those stupid things...

I am sorry...
Ever since I step into Kenneth's life everything seems become difficult for him...
He have to take up everything that I caused...
Every single thing I did wrong...
He had to take up all the consequences...
And settle for me...

Jz wanna tell Dear is not necessary to make me laugh all the time...
I will be happy if u jz hold my hands...
Or even a hug...
Even though its jz a tiny little action...
That will make me feel better...
Make me feel u're beside me...
Make me feel I'm protected and secured...

-I LOVE U KENNETH-
[thats what I promised Mr Lim Jim]